Café de Nuit

JinnTolser wrote:Granted! The Dark Powers hear your wish, and transform you into an automaton. You never fail to complete your routine tasks, but you no longer have any sort of imagination or even independent thought.

I wish this writer's strike thing would get resolved before TV ends up being nothing but reality shows.

Granted. It is resolved. And programming goes back to normal.

I wish that writers would stay out and that the television industry would collapse and take the Hollywood film industry with it.

Granted. With TV and movies completely gone, all those bad writers now write novels. And they clog up the bestseller lists, flood the bookstores with their garbage, and prevent better authors from getting published. Eventually, it becomes impossible to find good books or comics anywhere.

I wish I could predict how this wish was going to be twisted.

Granted.

I wish I could be sure of the state of the world for the next twenty years.

Granted! You know everything that's going to happen in the next twenty years. The effect this knowledge has on your mental state can be compared roughly to that of having morning coffee with Cthulhu.

I wish everyone was wise and well-behaved enough that we didn't need a govermnent at all.

Granted. Governments, and the taxes that support them, are no longer necessary. OTOH, while no longer required, governments still exist: they simply cease providing any services whatsoever, therefore making your tax dollars entirely wasted (as opposed to mostly).


I wish FOX's hokey old Werewolf TV series would come out on DVD, so I could get my low-budget cheese fix.

Granted! But it only comes as part of a package deal with the entire back catalog of The Young and the Restless, for the low, low price of $1,349.95.

I wish February 14th would get skipped this year.

Granted. Valentine's Day, however, falls on Feb 15th.

I wish people made more sense.

InVinoVeritas wrote:Granted. Valentine's Day, however, falls on Feb 15th.

I wish people made more sense.

You are granted godlike omniscience and every thing that everyone says now makes sense. But most of its is so petty and sickening that taking your own life makes perfect sense too and your proceed to do so.

I wish that Brittney Spears was unmasked as a doppleganger in the midst of an identity crises.

cure wrote:I wish that Brittney Spears was unmasked as a doppleganger in the midst of an identity crises.

Granted.

Unfortunately, the doppleganger failed to kill the real Brittany Spears who is actually much, much, worse and people STILL buy her crap and follow her around.


I wish those little heart candies you get around Valentine's Day tasted more like cherries and strawberries and less like chalk.

Granted, though now they are as expensive as fresh Cherries and Strawberries, while the real things henceforth taste like chalk.

I wish anyone would have really cared when Britney was exposed as a doppleganger, rather than making her queen of their nation of mindless zombie consumers.

Granted! Upon Britney's secret being exposed, she is ostracized and no one ever speaks of her again. The very next day, Christina Aguilera goes through the same type of breakdown, and the whole thing starts over again...

I wish black Michael Jackson would return in a UFO and fight white Michael Jackson like in that episode of Robot Chicken.

JinnTolser wrote:I wish black Michael Jackson would return in a UFO and fight white Michael Jackson like in that episode of Robot Chicken.

Granted. The fight takes place, sparking a genocidal conflict between white and blacks on three continents.

I wish that Strahd would seek professional help for his obsession.

Granted! Unfortunately, the therapist that he meets with, purely by coincidence, ends up being Tatyana's next reincarnation.

I wish there was another sequel to the Shadow Hearts series.

JinnTolser wrote:I wish there was another sequel to the Shadow Hearts series.

Granted. A rip off book publisher in Shanghai renames the Hobbit and its characters appropriately and pronounces it the great and wonderful, much anticipated, Shadow Hearts sequel.

I wish that Americans would stop trying to vote for the lesser evil and at long last elect Cthulhu as President.

Cthulhu 2008: http://www.cthulhu.org/cthulhu/positions.html

Granted! But Cthulhu turns out to be a Republican... and anti-abortion!

I wish I had more wishes.